by Poet-Pastor Larry P. Morris

Editor’s note: These holy words offer a poetic perspective we rarely hear – that of a husband walking alongside a beloved wife battling Stage 4 cancer.

Recently at Chemo

She started wheezing

Reacting to something they gave her

she started turning blue around her lips

She was fading

So they gave her something else

And she slept

They woke her

To check on her brain

And slowly she breathed more easily

Last weekend

The pain from her sickness

was eight out of ten.

It seemed constant

And there seemed no end in sight.

She was fading.

And then the pain ended

And she slept

Not too long ago

She had lost forty pounds

And was frail

And weak

She was fading

And then she gained twenty pounds

A while ago

We prepared for her dying.

We talked with her physician

And made arrangements and faint plans

We had deep conversations

And then she felt better

Our journey these days

Takes us to the edge of the water

To the doorways of goodbye

And then back to the land of the living

Although it is sad and tearful every single time

It is not now as scary as the first time

And the last time

Will be its own sadness

I write my about my experience of finding The Holy in ordinary things, simple moments, deep relationship and in hard times. Much of my recent writing has been about my experience as a caregiver for my wife, who has ovarian cancer.  I am a full time COO for a manufacturing company and a part time clergyman at Holy Spirit Lutheran Church in Kirkland WA.  I have published three books of my poetry and prose:  Among Us: Stories of Worship and Faith, Flirting With the Mystery: Stories of Faith Life and Cancer, and Creative Souls: Color, Words and Spirit.