by Poet-Pastor Larry P. Morris
Editor’s note: These holy words offer a poetic perspective we rarely hear – that of a husband walking alongside a beloved wife battling Stage 4 cancer.
Recently at Chemo
She started wheezing
Reacting to something they gave her
she started turning blue around her lips
She was fading
So they gave her something else
And she slept
They woke her
To check on her brain
And slowly she breathed more easily
Last weekend
The pain from her sickness
was eight out of ten.
It seemed constant
And there seemed no end in sight.
She was fading.
And then the pain ended
And she slept
Not too long ago
She had lost forty pounds
And was frail
And weak
She was fading
And then she gained twenty pounds
A while ago
We prepared for her dying.
We talked with her physician
And made arrangements and faint plans
We had deep conversations
And then she felt better
Our journey these days
Takes us to the edge of the water
To the doorways of goodbye
And then back to the land of the living
Although it is sad and tearful every single time
It is not now as scary as the first time
And the last time
Will
be its own sadness
I write my about my experience of finding The Holy in ordinary things, simple moments, deep relationship and in hard times. Much of my recent writing has been about my experience as a caregiver for my wife, who has ovarian cancer. I am a full time COO for a manufacturing company and a part time clergyman at Holy Spirit Lutheran Church in Kirkland WA. I have published three books of my poetry and prose: Among Us: Stories of Worship and Faith, Flirting With the Mystery: Stories of Faith Life and Cancer, and Creative Souls: Color, Words and Spirit.
Bless you both with comfort and may tha arms of Jesus surround you both.
Larry, thank you for your words of pain and pressing onward and sharing the taste of God’s presence in all of this. Holding you and your wife, your family and those around you in humble prayer.
Bless you and your lovely Suzanne.