by Joanne Viola
From the day we draw our first birth, we begin aging. Aging, the process of getting older, is a forward motion as we anticipate the milestones in life – school days, teenage years, our driver’s license, dating, college, our first job, and getting married.
As the years pass, we hardly give thought to those senior years when we may not be able to do everything for ourselves.
The time of needing help, of being dependent on others, is not for the faint of heart. And being the caregiver is the most difficult of positions as it will demand much both physically and emotionally.
While the journey of caregiving may bear similarities, every journey is as unique as the individuals. No situation is exactly the same and we must be careful in dispensing “advice”.
As I find myself in the midst of my caretaking journey, a few thoughts come to mind to share:
- Caring for our parents is a God-given responsibility. “But if she [a widow] has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God” (1 Timothy 5:4, NLT). There is something about taking hold of this responsibility which reveals the love of God in our lives. God is pleased as we take on this responsibility.
- God will provide us with all we need to take on this responsibility. We’ve seen that caregiving is a God-given responsibility and so, God will provide us with all we need to meet the task. “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3, NLT). God deposits into our hearts and minds all we need each day.
- Begin every day with God. Tending to our own souls is critical to our caregiving. Commit to spend time in God’s Word every morning. Pray about decisions and the things weighing heavy on your heart, for God will faithfully bring guidance. “Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is they way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left” (Isaiah 30:21, NLT).
I am not sure what I thought these years would be like for our family. Perhaps I did not give them much thought as they crept up on us quickly. I’m reminded of the saying, “The days are long and the years short.”
My parents are yet teaching me the most important lessons in life. Each day they point me to Jesus and to pursue Him with all my heart, soul, and mind. As we laugh at some silly memory or a play on words, I am learning of the medicinal value in laughter and to choose joy. Their gentleness and deep gratitude for the simplest of things reminds me every day to “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NLT).
This task of caregiving is a challenging one but one we can do with excellence, as we rely on God’s strength and God’s wisdom each step of the way. God has never promised us an easy road in life, but He has promised to be with us in all things.
And so, may you discover as I have, that this caregiving journey is a joint venture – an adventure if you will permit me to word it as such. It is an adventure with God in which you will grow with God, and as you do, you will discover: “The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 1:8, NLT).
Joanne Viola celebrated her 40th wedding anniversary this year. She is mom to two adult married children and “Mimi” to three precious granddaughters.
She loves to read and write. Joanne’s blog is Days & Thoughts, and she can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.
A ministry which is dear to her heart is The Lulu Tree, where I serve on the governing board as well as tend to our partners.
Joanne … I found myself nodding throughout this post. I’m like you … I didn’t really think a lot about what these years would be like for my family. I had some fears, for sure. But while some of those fears really did come true, what actually happened was nothing like I had imagined it might be. I love how you point out that your parents are still teaching you … it’s definitely a hard season, but what a wonderful opportunity to experience God’s faithfulness and make memories that will sustain you in the years to come. xo
Lois, I so appreciate your comment. I am cherishing the time spent with my parents. I am grateful for the role I have in helping them and more grateful for their independence they still enjoy as well. God has been more than faithful and this assures me of His continued faithfulness as well. Thank you, friend!
Such thoughtful treasures to keep in hand on the longer days. I’ll be passing this along to friends in this season of life. If you have not read it yet, you may appreciate Andi Ashworth’s book “Real Love for Real Life: The Art and Work of Caregiving.” I have only read it so far in the season of caring for your young children, but she writes with a compassionate eye to the Christian who is caring for anyone in any stage of life.
Alexis, I will surely be checking this book out. I actually have taken care of my three granddaughters while their parents work FT. Two are now in school and the youngest is 13MO so this book would be timely for me. Caregiving can take place at either end – with the young or with the older – both positions have enriched my life immensely.
Beautifully written, Joanne. So true that the years of needing care both for our parents and ourselves sneak up on us. But I love the encouragement you give. Yes, God will provide all we need to meet the task of caregiving. And as I watched God provide for our parents’ needs, it increased my faith that he’ll also provide the care my husband and I need in old age. Thanks!
Joanne… I nodded my head up and down through every word. As an only child of divorced parents, I was my dad’s caregiver until his death in 2015. There were days I was so exhausted I couldn’t form a thought or even a prayer. God was so faithful and carried me and my dad every step of the way. It was an honor to care for him. He had been an alcoholic for most of his adult life. The healing that came to both of us in his final years was sweet with forgiveness and restoration.